Who blogs anymore?

I suck at blogging.  Maybe I should just stop.  But sometimes its nice to write something out.

Since last blog we have welcomed along our newest baby boy.  He's a little chunk and I love him to pieces.  I felt like with Ollie I was waiting for the next learning milestone.  I was racing time to get him to be older, probably because by meeting timelines I knew he was on track or exceeding expectations.  With Lil Chunk I don't want him to get bigger....I don't want a race against time anymore.

This is my last month staying at home. I was lucky enough to take 4 months off.  The first time I only took 8 weeks.  It will definitely be tougher to go back to work this time.

But it will be a nice distraction to go back to work with the crazy people I work with.  The women that get upset over every little thing...which will include me.  The men that are complete idiots. And the other people  including the one that just smears poo all over the office and acts like its no big deal.  And I'm not even kidding on that last line.

71

Friday was my Dad's birthday. If he were still alive he would have been 71.  It's always tough the week surrounding his birthday.  So many memories. 

He was a pretty cool guy.  Really laid back and calm.  My mom is the crazy one. 

My biggest regret is that he didn't get to meet my little ones.  But I love it when I hear Ollie say Tata Tano and points to his picture.

Here's to my Dad. 

The beetus

While I would say overall both pregnancies have been relatively smooth so far it hasn't been with some set backs.  Early on with Ollie we had the possibility from one of the early tests that he might have down syndrome. After much discussion regarding further testing we decided that we didn't need to know for sure and would handle that when we he was born.  The rest of the pregnancy I had high blood pressure.  The rare times I had gone to the doctor before my pregnancy my blood pressure was always in the higher ranges.  My doctor had me on a simple diet of low to no carbs, walking and checking my own blood pressure daily.  So I followed it at as best as I could. Getting closer to the 40 weeks I had to do the stupid 24 hour pee test.  Collecting your pee for 24 hours is quite the chore and then having to store it in the refrigerator well that is just gross.   In the end, everything turned out pretty well.

With this pregnancy,  I had been walking with the ladies at work months before I got pregnant.  And with having Ollie and having him eat well I myself was eating a little better. Definitely more fruits and vegetables than ever before.  So the beginning of the pregnancy went really well.  Blood pressure was great and doc was good with that.  So I started letting things slide.  Ate whatever whenever.  Then it was time for the glucose tests. Failed the 1 hour test. Failed the 3 hour test. After much discussion about the validity of these tests we went to talk to a diabetes specialist who explained gestational diabetes to us and gave us tips on what to eat and how to start monitoring my blood sugar. My numbers an hour after eating were all pretty good.  My fasting number, the first one in the morning was always over 90. It should be under 90.  The combination of the baby measuring 3 weeks ahead and that fasting number constantly over 90 was enough for my doc to put me on insulin.  So now at night I take 10cc's or whatever of insulin.  What stinks is that 3 days prior to taking insulin my fasting number started going below 90 on it's own.  Either my body got used to the new diet or I was eating the right combination for my bedtime snack.  My fasting numbers have been consistently below 90 except 3 times.  And those 3 times I know I was really stressed/emotional about work or something else. 

Taking the insulin hasn't been so bad but I know this isn't something I want to continue doing.  Hopefully, this does go away as soon as the baby is born.  Starting the diabetes diet was probably the hardest thing to do.   I had no idea what to eat the first few days and probably the first week I was constantly hungry and upset.  The information I got from the diabetes doc wasn't necessarily accurate for my situation.  My doc allowed me more fruits and to cut out the bread, rice and pasta as much as I can.  While the diabetes doc limited my fruits and allowed me some bread, rice and pasta. But I'm happy as long as I get good portions of protein. 

So where to go from here....

Last night I felt sorry for myself. I cried a little,  Thought fondly of certain people.  Cussed out other people.

So what is left after that?  Exhaustion.

Pity party over.  Time to do things I need to do and time to get things out of my head....
1) Cleaning and organizing this house.
2) Organizing work stuff as best as I can.
3) Making the male population I see most frequently understand that anything can happen from here on out.  I may not go to work tomorrow or I might still be working past my due date.
4) Ask for more help.  Maybe my mom should come stay with me so she can clean my house. She is very thorough and has more energy than most 30 year olds and she cooks good food.
5) Play more with Ollie, instead of getting upset that he is in my way.
6) Write a blog about why women seem to be marrying older men that have already been married once before.  I think it's a thing now.
7) Clean my desk.
8) Figure out what else is ok to eat with gestational diabetes. Especially sweets...I'm dying for sweet stuff.
9) Change the things I can change and let the other things/people work on themselves.
10) Check out videos on how to raise a newborn.  I'm sure everything will come back to me but it never hurts to have refreshers.

it's a lonely road....

Time has passed since the last blog and in this time I am pregnant again. I have about 8 weeks to go before I get to meet this little guy and start the journey all over again.  This is the time where I feel like nesting and planning and wanting things a certain way. This also seems to be the loneliest of times. 

Some might think it's just all those girly emotions that need to come out but it's just simple compassion and help I seek. Here I am awake at midnight just trying to breathe. Writing this on my phone just so I can get something out. Is it really just the hormones. Probably. Is it too much to ask to be comforted? Probably. 

I often wonder how other people make it look so easy to not care. 

But whatever.....right....there will probably be more nights where I just sit in the dark wondering what is going on telling myself that things will be better.  There will be more times where I just tell myself to get over it because no one else will get over it for me. 

This is probably just a pity party. I should have written this on Facebook where somebody would actually read it so I could get this compassion I am seeking. But this is ok.  It is during the loneliest of times that I realize there is pent up emotion.  Thinking of the things I wish I had makes me think of the things/people I have lost. 

Alright pity party over for now. 

Mosca Muerta

I used to be a nice girl.  I was quiet. Spoke only when spoken to. I trusted and respected my elders.  Listened to authority.  Never spoke my mind.

Well over the years that all changed.  I got sick of being the one that never spoke up and didn't voice my opinions.  Other people were always willing to speak their mind no matter how wrong they were.

It seems now I have a reputation.

I'm on a coworker's little shit list this past week.  She's been questioning every decision I make even though she isn't in the same department I am.  I don't know what her deal is but she's making me angry. She's a 60 year old woman and she's playing this passive aggressive game with me which is getting really old really fast.   My boss knows about it and yesterday he witnessed me and her getting into another round of nonsense.  At one point I told her talking to her was like talking to my mother.  Constant nagging and going in circles without her telling me what is the end problem, question or solution.

This same lady called me a mosca muerte...a dead fly.  I told my mom and she laughed.  It's almost like this lady is calling me a cross between a spoiled brat, hypocrite and prima donna, if any of that makes sense. All I know is that I'm right and she's wrong.

The Dreaded Note

Before Ollie T was born we knew we had to line up a good daycare for him.  We started on the search pretty late and checked out about 5 places before we fell in love with the current daycare he is in now.  We had a good recommendation and instantly we felt like we could trust this place with our kid.  The infant room teachers were absolutely wonderful. They went through a few changes but no matter what we felt confident that Ollie was getting the attention he needed.  Before he turned a year the infant room got a good trio of teachers.  They were all young, easygoing and really helpful in guiding us through the rest of Ollie's first year.  We would ask them questions like what and when to feed Ollie, especially when it came to solids, because we were simply at a loss.  He surely couldn't eat Taco Bell and pizza.

Then Ollie turned the Big 1.  He was moved into the toddler room and we had our choice between a Spanish language focused classroom or a Sign Language focused classroom. We asked that he stay with his friends that would all be coming in from the infant room in the next couple months. So with that request Ollie was sent to the sign language room. We were given a sheet about what to expect and what to bring.  Soon after the notes started.

The regular notes came as expected.  More diapers, more wipes, and accident reports were all the notes we were expecting.  Then we got the "other" notes.

-Please put all warm up containers in the bottom drawer of the refrigerator.  (We forgot twice).
-It is not necessary to write how long to microwave the warm up.
-Peel the orange (cutie) beforehand.
-Do not send utensils.
-Please send bibs.
-Please put jackets on top of his designated container.
-Please bring a teething toy.
-Please do not bring two sippy cups.
-Please stop bringing bottles.

These are all the ones that I could think of but I'm sure there were more.

I was ready to start sending notes back and start a passive aggressive war but I was told to let it go.

Ollie really does have a good teacher she is just a stickler on certain things that drives me batty.  But I guess it's good that he has that strict structure at school since we let him do whatever the hell he wants at home. 

I once had time for lots of stuff.

There used to be time for the little things in life. Now there is no time.  It all get consumed by a little boy.

your pain amuses me...

It appears I like to cause a ruckus when I can.  Work seems to be my amusement when I  can call people out on their stupidity...which is almost all the time at my current job.

This past February we hired a new girl and she has proven to be a good ally in the fight to amuse ourselves.  She likes to pull  practical jokes and she tends to pick on two of the three guys that works in our office.  So far her jokes have been wrapping their stuff in saran wrap but this past Friday she moved three empty filing cabinets over so that this one guy can't get into his cubicle as easily. 

The only thing that will suck about this joke is that the guy comes in first before anyone else so no one will be around to see his reaction. 

being sympathetic....

One of the things I feel I lack being a new mom is the "typical mom feelings".  I don't know how else to name it or describe it. It comes up when someone says

"Did you cry when he got his first shots?"

No, I didn't.  But I was glad I got to hold him afterwards to comfort him.

"How did you handle going back to work and leaving him?" (This was when I was working part-time and Zac and I were trading off)

Um-actually it was nice to have 4 hours of doing something else and keeping my mind busy with catching up with work.  Sure I looked at lil Ollie's picture a ton but it was nice eating when I wanted to eat without any interruptions.

"Did you cry when you put him in daycare?"

No, well for a second on the way to daycare I may have gotten a little choked up with the feels...but I was excited for him to go to daycare.  I know his days of having little friends are coming within the next few years but I loved seeing him in a room with a few other babies.

"How can  you even think about putting him in daycare?"

I thought about it alot and I have never had any issues about putting him in daycare. There was one day where I told myself I could be a stay at home mom...and then I laughed at the idea and went on with my day. People say daycares are germ factories. Well so am I.  The two times Ollie has had a little congestion is when I've been sick.  He goes to daycare everyday but he caught his sicknesses from me.  Schools are germ factories, stores are germ factories, families are germ factories, dogs are germ factories and so is everything else in life. Get over it.

"Won't you miss him?"

Of course I'll miss him.  I'll miss him more than he misses me. But I want him to get used to the hustle and bustle of a daycare and seeing new people and being ok with new people.  I'll still see him and I'll love him just as much throughout the day, that won't ever change.

So when I get these typical questions I try very hard not to roll my eyes and I give the short answer of yes or no. I think I've tried a couple of times where I tried to explain it but I get blank stares like they don't understand or they can't comprehend it.  I know it's normal to get overemotional about your kids during these big times and I'm not saying it's dumb if you do, but since I didn't have those feelings and I hear someone else saying how they have anxieties about going back to work and leaving their kid at daycare all I can think is...

Suck it up buttercup

But I can't actually tell that person that.  No...I have to be all nice and polite and sympathetic. ARGH!!!!!

Yes, this is directed at one person, that thankfully will never read my blog. Before we were both pregnant it was 6 years of her trying to conceive, and letting everyone know of her ups and downs. While we were both pregnant at the same time she had every symptom. She was well known at the hospital before she even had the kid.  The delivery was another whole episode and the recovery was 8 weeks of the worse thing she has ever been through and now that it is time to go back to work it's time for the anxiety. There seems to be a trend and I have to sit next to it while I work or hear about it through email.

In the beginning...

I think I've used this same title a few times already but whatevs.

So going back in time to February of 2013, things were simple back then.  Life was normal except for that pesky stomach ache that wasn't going away.  A week of stomach aches and nothing was making it go away. I mean I tried everything...pepto bismal, alka seltzer, immodium, and who knows what else.  At one point I thinking...nah...can't be possible...but decided to check anyway.  I had a pregnancy test lying around..who knows how old it was.  Nope not positive.  Another week passed and Aunt Flo hadn't made her visit and that pesky stomach ache was not going away.  At this point I was pretty sure I was dying of a hernia or that my insides were being chewed through by some water born parasite. There was no hope for me.   I was almost at the point of needing to make a doctor's appointment, which meant finding a doctor first.  February 17th rolled around and with a new supply of pregnancy tests I decided to take another one.  And then another one....and then another one. 

I stared down at that pee stick and thought "What??" My next reaction.  Take a shower and cry.  I sobbed and sobbed.  Thousands of what ifs rolled through my mind.  In my head this kid was already 13, smoking cigarettes, and getting some girl pregnant or getting pregnant.  And it was all my fault.  I got myself together trying to figure out how I was going to tell Zac.  I was that person you see on TV that talks to themselves in the mirror practicing.  I went and told Zac and he was extremely happy and that made me start sobbing again but it helped knowing he was happy and supportive.

After that day, I was forced to make a doctors appointment and then I started researching if all that pepto bismal would affect the fetus in anyway.

Back Again!

So I know most people don't even blog anymore but I figure in the New Year one of my resolutions will be to kind of back track and try to remember a few things from the pregnancy and also write down what is kind of going on now. 

I'll be back to work full time in January so perhaps I'll use my down time to blog since it isn't blocked at work.

Today is also our Ollie's 3rd month of life outside the womb.  It's pretty crazy we are already at this point. Just over 3 months ago I was wondering what my little guy would be like and ready to evict him and now he's here and growing and it's pretty amazing.  It's also exhausting especially when he starts shrieking because he's hungry, needs to be changed or too tired and fights sleep. 

2013 was interesting.  Zac and I spent January living life like normal.  February was spent getting new jobs or being promoted and finding out we were expecting. March and part of April was spent keeping the pregnancy secret and alot of worrying for me.  May-August was spent getting ready for this kid both mentally and physically and more worrying for me. September was filled with last minute stuff and I was over the worrying and mentally done with this pregnancy...I was ready! 

October was a month of firsts.  It was was pure exhaustion, wonderment, a bit of fear when we had to go back to the hospital for his jaundice, and tiny moments of normalcy here and there.

November through December has been more about the excitement of the holidays with a child.  My mom is pretty darn happy, which is nice.  And Zac's parents are over the moon. 

What else did we do in 2013?

Zac's Spring Break was spent with a visit from Zac's Dad and StepMom.  We went to Bisbee and Phoenix and ate out a few times. 

We saw The Heat, Last Stand and Star Trek in the theater. 

We got new phones.

We spent a weekend at Westward Look Resort.

We had a wild Father's Day weekend trying to get to a cabin on Mt. Lemmon.

Spent a few other days at that cabin on Mt. Lemmon.

So that's that.

Time to wrap this up and eat breakfast before the munchkin starts crying again.

It's time to rant again...

The day after Labor Day makes me lazy.  Well actually every day so far has made me lazy.  I think pregnancy has made me develop a mild form of narcolepsy.  I first thought I was just tired from working on the baby's room because that was when I noticed it more.  But even after working on the baby's room I was still tired all the time.  Falling asleep while checking facebook on my phone for a couple seconds.  Or reading an email at work, I'd find myself nodding off.  Ugh...whatever.

Anyway...point of blog is to complain about other people.  So office pet peeves.  An email is sent to me and it should have gone to another buyer.  No biggie right...I'll just forward to the correct buyer.  I'm done and out of it....right??? Nope...not here.  The buyer that should just take care of it instead emails me back and tells me what to tell the end user.  Um.....really....you couldn't have just sent it the original person?  It infuriates me! The other scenario is that I tell the right buyer "hey look this should go to you". Again I think I'm done. Nope...the new buyer instead CC's me on all correspondence. I don't care anymore.

Also, one of my lovely coworkers likes to ask how you are doing in the morning.  Usually I don't get asked because I sneak into work like a ninja and people never know when I've showed up or not.  But I hear it.

"Hey Stacey...how you doing this morning?"

waits for response....

Literally 10 minutes later....

"Hey Stacey, how are you doing?"

One morning "Stacey" was asked this same question 3 times within a 20 minute time span.

So annoying!

And now I hope I have annoyed you all.

LOOK AT IT!

28 Weeks Later

Isn't 28 Weeks Later a horror movie or something?

Well I'm not exactly in a horror movie at this point in the pregnancy but some parts of my day feel like it.  Like when Princess Preggo Rockstar keeps rubbing her belly fat in front of me.  Today I almost lost it.  I went over to her cubicle to ask her a quick question and I began by asking her how she felt, she's been complaining about a stabbing pain on her right side and went to her doctor yesterday.  She's gone to the ER probably 3 times this pregnancy when something out of the ordinary happens (which to me is everything is out of the ordinary).  Anyway,  when she was telling me she still had some pains but not as bad as yesterday her hand went right to underneath her lower belly and really it looked like she was going for her crotch.  I closed my eyes and for a split second I wanted to scream at her.  I quickly asked my work questions and walked away.  I don't get why she does this in front of me. I honestly haven't seen her do it in front of anyone else unless she's somewhat hidden by a table or something but with me she just doesn't care if it's decent or anything.  Last Friday I was talking to another coworker and Princess Preggo Rockstar walked in to start gossiping.  She decides that is the perfect time to adjust her maternity pants and flips her shirt up to do the adjusting and from my vantage point I got a free show of her boobs/bra and stomach.  Geez Louise!  Do your adjustments in the privacy of the bathroom stall or your own cubicle if you can get away with it.

So over her and her belly rubbing!

Other than going nuts when stuff bugs me it's been ok.  So far my biggest complaint is that my regular carpal tunnel pains seem to have gotten worse.  My hands go numb a lot.  Yes I asked the doctor about it.

Well I suppose I should go back to work.  And listen to my coworkers complain about everything.  The latest drama was that our front receptionist (who is notoriously absent) said she was bit by a spider while at work and was needing to file for workman's comp.  So while this may all be true I'm still skeptical.  But now our offices will get sprayed for bugs at some point next week and I'll be here to smell in the fumes.  Thanks people!  That's ok baby  needs to get used to it anyways.  

My adventure!

Around 1:30 pm yesterday I was fed up with sitting in my cubicle.  Time felt like it just stopped.  So feeling a little lonely and bored I went up to my old desk in the front of the office and I chatted with the assistant and the two clerks.  I probably spent a good hour talking with them when one of the clerks said she really wanted chocolate and was going next door to get some.  Well next door is a smoke shop and I've considered going there to see if they have soda, candy and/or ice cream but since I'm not a smoker I never wanted to go by myself.  So I told the clerk I'd go with her.

We walked past the smokers of our building and they asked us where we were going and we told them to the smoke shop and they asked if we were going for the brownies.  We laughed them off.  They are so silly.

Not even a minute later we are in the smoke shop, the tiny aromatic smoke shop, and to my immediate left is the soda cooler with regular cans and 2 liters.  Next to the soda cooler was the stand with a poor selection of chocolate/candies.  While my coworker paid we found the homemade brownies.  They were tempting but we stuck with our chocolates and left.

My suggestion to the smokeshop-get rid of some of those hookahs and pipes and put in a soda fountain and an ice cream freezer. 

Things that annoy me today....

Chatty Cathy over here that complains about other people talking too much when she can out talk everyone. After coming in 20 minutes late this morning she announces to whoever listens "I was stuck down stairs by Mrs. Y,  she's a nice lady but my gosh she talks so much".....REALLY?  She talks too much?  WOW!

This same person also does an annoying whistle when something good happens or good news is shared.  ANNOYING!

This same person has recently developed a little cough so after she actually coughs she says "Cough, cough!" In a whiny voice.  IRRITATING!  Like we didn't know you just coughed.  

Princess Prego Rockstar has also been annoying me with some choice phrases she uses constantly.  

Boss man will come over and say " I think we should include this page in the TPS report."  

Her response will be without a doubt...."DEFINITELY!"

OR......"I AGREE!"

You should all know I abhor the words BASICALLY and ACTUALLY!  Well Definitely is on the list now!  

Wouldn't you all agree! 

I think I might be in a bit of a grumpy mood.

20 weeks

It seems like these past 20 weeks have flown by...but it didn't seem like that in February when we first found out about our life changing news.  I don't look very different yet.  Most of the time I don't feel different either.    We'll see how much longer I'm still saying this! This coming Thursday is our anatomy scan perhaps then we'll do the big facebook reveal. I would like to do something a little clever rather than just say "Hey we're expecting....Baby (Boy/Girl) Chapman" and post the ultrasound.  I want something original.

Like an ultrasound with a top hat and mustache for boy/ big bow and something else for a girl, similar to this picture:

Or how about an ultrasound with a baby dinosaur?

Or perhaps we'll announce in a very natural way.

I've always thought this was a cute idea...but it's so overdone...but I could get a new pair of chucks.

We'll see maybe it'll just the be the boring ol' ultrasound because we'll be too lazy to come up with anything clever.

Did you turn it off and on again?

Question I just overheard...


Question Asker:
A vendor is coming in tomorrow to give a presentation in the blah blah room.  The vendor wants to know if they have to bring a Mac or a PC to do the presentation?

Question Answerer:

They can bring whatever they have their presentation on, there is only a screen in the room.

Question Asker:
So they can bring either one to hook up for the presentation?

Question Answerer:
There is only a screen in there, there isn't a projector, so unless they don't have a projector we can provide one for them.

Question Asker:
So they can bring either Mac or PC to hook up in that room?

Question Answerer:
Yes...

Stuff to do but no energy to do anything...

So the other  Preggo Princess around here likes to rub/touch her belly.  Now I had one coworker/friend in the past that would rub her belly after she ate and I would make fun of her but at least she was rubbing her belly.  This Preggo Princess rubs her uterus belly or for those of you that are familiar with the term FUPA.  It completely and totally grosses me out.  When I talk to her she rubs and touches in front of me. In fact she just did it to me right now.  I feel like I'm interrupting a tender moment between her and her belly.  The baby is only what 3-4 inches at this point in her pregnancy so all she's doing is rubbing her fat around.  I equate this to men rubbing/grabbing their crotches.  I don't want to see it.  Gross! Gross! Gross!  Just because I'm pregnant too doesn't mean you can sit in my office and start rubbing away and think I'm compassionate that you might feel some pain here and there.  Suck it up you big cry baby and stop rubbing in front of me!