it's a lonely road....

Time has passed since the last blog and in this time I am pregnant again. I have about 8 weeks to go before I get to meet this little guy and start the journey all over again.  This is the time where I feel like nesting and planning and wanting things a certain way. This also seems to be the loneliest of times. 

Some might think it's just all those girly emotions that need to come out but it's just simple compassion and help I seek. Here I am awake at midnight just trying to breathe. Writing this on my phone just so I can get something out. Is it really just the hormones. Probably. Is it too much to ask to be comforted? Probably. 

I often wonder how other people make it look so easy to not care. 

But whatever.....right....there will probably be more nights where I just sit in the dark wondering what is going on telling myself that things will be better.  There will be more times where I just tell myself to get over it because no one else will get over it for me. 

This is probably just a pity party. I should have written this on Facebook where somebody would actually read it so I could get this compassion I am seeking. But this is ok.  It is during the loneliest of times that I realize there is pent up emotion.  Thinking of the things I wish I had makes me think of the things/people I have lost. 

Alright pity party over for now.