dos de azúcar...: December 2008

i am awake from my nyquil induced coma. the first thing that pops into my head is something that zac and i spoke about last night. it was about explaining to people why he's decided to major in philosophy and the negativity behind people's reactions.

i am a strong supporter of education and by this i mean support education at all levels. growing up in the teso household there was no doubt that after high school we would all go on to college. my mom's only wish for her 3 kids was to see us all with a college degree. why was this so important to her? because her decision to continue school was taken away from her. my dad always supported us in our educational goals but he wasn't as vocal as my mom about us going to college. he graduated from high school and went straight out to the work force. he has been a construction worker his entire life. he worked hard doing back breaking work and now he is retired and during his retirement he built his own house. i have never been embarrassed that he was a construction worker but i could see it in his tired eyes and body that he wished he could do something else. he loves building things, you can't get him away from his plants and trees and when i was a kid we would walk into the desert and look for pottery, arrowheads and petroglyphs. who knows what he could have become if he had the support. maybe he would be an architect, archeologist or botanist? who knows?

my mom grew up in mexico. their educational system is different and so i can't really say much about it because i don't know. for my mom, sixth grade was pretty much the max. unless you had money to go on to school that was the end of the road. when my mom had reached sixth grade she loved school. she claims she was top of her class and she loved to dance. one of her teachers saw the potential in her and offered her two scholarships to go on to school. her parents declined her chance to go on to school because during those times women were expected to stay in the kitchen and tend to the family. so my mom's dreams of going on to school were completely gone. instead she left her house at 15 to go find jobs to help support her parents and brothers and sisters. she went from working as a housekeeper for rich people to working with gems. she came to the united states illegally found my dad and 3 months later they got married and have been together ever since. my mom was a lunch lady at the schools and for the past 14 years she has been a custodian. again i have never been embarrassed by my mom for what she does but i can see in her tired eyes and body what she could have become.

now i think back to high school senior year and i'm getting ready to go to the UA. i remember being in a few classes where our teachers asked what plans we had after high school. i was so surprised to hear other people say they were going to get a job and not go on to college. i was astounded. i thought everyone wanted to go to college. i kept hearing people say they couldn't afford to go to college and i wanted to shout and ask them if they heard about student loans and financial aid. i sure as hell didn't have any money to go to college and the only financial help i would get from my parents is money for groceries every couple of weeks. i had no idea what i wanted to major in and i knew that would come later.

now i look back at college and i wished i could have done more. i wish i would have traveled abroad. i wish i would have taken some other classes or joined some other clubs. overall i'm happy with college and where i am today. i feel like going on to college is part of a journey. you explore what your options are and you decide what goals you want to set for yourself. you meet great people and you do very interesting things you never would have before. you find yourself going to a frat party with one group of friends and the next week you find yourself going to an artsy fartsy event with another group of friends. then a couple months or years later you get a phone call or an email from a college friend or acquaintance offering you a job.

now back to zac and majoring in philosophy. when we first started dating i asked zac about school. i kept telling him that he was extremely smart and that he should go on to school to explore his possibilities. i remember we had a conversation about something...i'm pretty sure it had something to do with my health or buying a house and he said "think of it as investing in yourself...aren't you worth it?" when zac kept bringing up how much school would cost and the loans he would have to get i asked him "think of it as investing in yourself...aren't you worth it?" i'm very proud of where zac is today. he has another semester left and he'll have his associates degree and then he'll transfer on to the ua the following semester. its so exciting to hear him talk about all the possibilities when it comes to school. i am very excited for him to go to the ua and be able to share certain memories about the school. he talks about graduate school and i gladly support that if that is what he wants to do.

college isn't for everyone and i understand that. everyone finds their own path in this life. some people have found their happiness and their wealth by their own hard work. that is fine. what i hate is that some people are so hung up on certain things. some think you should only go to college if you know what you want to do. that is bullshit. you can figure that out during school or you graduate in one area and decide that you want to go back and try something else out. some people think you should only major in areas that will guarantee you a job and lots of money. nothing can guarantee you a good job and lots of money. you are the only person in charge of your life. guess what this economy sucks and we aren't guaranteed anything so why not study something that interests you and that you feel passionately about. some people think they can't afford school or are afraid to take on student loans. bullshit. financial aid is out there, take advantage of it before it goes away completely. i have $20,000 in student loans but guess what i don't regret it at all. it didn't stop us from getting a house either.

i just hope that everyone at some point can see the potential in everyone else. i hope people can get over this ridiculous narrow minded way of thinking about education as means to money. i hope when you are having a conversation with someone and they tell you that they are going to college and they tell you that they are majoring in agroeconomics or liberal arts or mathematics you ask "how did you decide on this major?" "what are you studying now?" "do you know what your emphasis will be?" not "what kind of job are you going to get with that?" do you ever stop thinking about what your next job might be? so why box someone in by the major they decide?

the possibilities are endless so support your friends and family with their dreams and goals. How else do we get the ballet dancers, the opera singers, the actors, the doctors, the scientists, the musicians, the writers, the astrophysicists, the astronauts, the stay at home moms and so on? not all of them wanted to be doctors and lawyers and like everyone else we take chances. we succeed, we fail, and we learn but at least we tried.

Yesterday our company laid off more people. It wasn't as massive as the first lay off a few months ago but it didn't stop the waves of fear of what could happen.

Today we had a town hall meeting where the president of our company explained the reasoning behind the lay offs and future plans for the company. None of us are promised that we'll be there forever. The economy really dictates what will happen with our company. Hopefully what our president said today is true in that our company is counter cyclical meaning that we tend to do well during down times because our target market will shop us more based on their set income and our lower price points. But retail is still retail and as consumers are tighter with their wallets businesses in all sectors will suffer.

Today after the town hall meeting we had a company luncheon. Paid by our Booster Club I believe. We also got a nice little gift card to Fry's. I never thought I would be so happy to see a gift card to Fry's!

Now I'm getting sick. I hope whatever I have goes away soon.