being sympathetic....

One of the things I feel I lack being a new mom is the "typical mom feelings".  I don't know how else to name it or describe it. It comes up when someone says

"Did you cry when he got his first shots?"

No, I didn't.  But I was glad I got to hold him afterwards to comfort him.

"How did you handle going back to work and leaving him?" (This was when I was working part-time and Zac and I were trading off)

Um-actually it was nice to have 4 hours of doing something else and keeping my mind busy with catching up with work.  Sure I looked at lil Ollie's picture a ton but it was nice eating when I wanted to eat without any interruptions.

"Did you cry when you put him in daycare?"

No, well for a second on the way to daycare I may have gotten a little choked up with the feels...but I was excited for him to go to daycare.  I know his days of having little friends are coming within the next few years but I loved seeing him in a room with a few other babies.

"How can  you even think about putting him in daycare?"

I thought about it alot and I have never had any issues about putting him in daycare. There was one day where I told myself I could be a stay at home mom...and then I laughed at the idea and went on with my day. People say daycares are germ factories. Well so am I.  The two times Ollie has had a little congestion is when I've been sick.  He goes to daycare everyday but he caught his sicknesses from me.  Schools are germ factories, stores are germ factories, families are germ factories, dogs are germ factories and so is everything else in life. Get over it.

"Won't you miss him?"

Of course I'll miss him.  I'll miss him more than he misses me. But I want him to get used to the hustle and bustle of a daycare and seeing new people and being ok with new people.  I'll still see him and I'll love him just as much throughout the day, that won't ever change.

So when I get these typical questions I try very hard not to roll my eyes and I give the short answer of yes or no. I think I've tried a couple of times where I tried to explain it but I get blank stares like they don't understand or they can't comprehend it.  I know it's normal to get overemotional about your kids during these big times and I'm not saying it's dumb if you do, but since I didn't have those feelings and I hear someone else saying how they have anxieties about going back to work and leaving their kid at daycare all I can think is...

Suck it up buttercup

But I can't actually tell that person that.  No...I have to be all nice and polite and sympathetic. ARGH!!!!!

Yes, this is directed at one person, that thankfully will never read my blog. Before we were both pregnant it was 6 years of her trying to conceive, and letting everyone know of her ups and downs. While we were both pregnant at the same time she had every symptom. She was well known at the hospital before she even had the kid.  The delivery was another whole episode and the recovery was 8 weeks of the worse thing she has ever been through and now that it is time to go back to work it's time for the anxiety. There seems to be a trend and I have to sit next to it while I work or hear about it through email.

In the beginning...

I think I've used this same title a few times already but whatevs.

So going back in time to February of 2013, things were simple back then.  Life was normal except for that pesky stomach ache that wasn't going away.  A week of stomach aches and nothing was making it go away. I mean I tried everything...pepto bismal, alka seltzer, immodium, and who knows what else.  At one point I thinking...nah...can't be possible...but decided to check anyway.  I had a pregnancy test lying around..who knows how old it was.  Nope not positive.  Another week passed and Aunt Flo hadn't made her visit and that pesky stomach ache was not going away.  At this point I was pretty sure I was dying of a hernia or that my insides were being chewed through by some water born parasite. There was no hope for me.   I was almost at the point of needing to make a doctor's appointment, which meant finding a doctor first.  February 17th rolled around and with a new supply of pregnancy tests I decided to take another one.  And then another one....and then another one. 

I stared down at that pee stick and thought "What??" My next reaction.  Take a shower and cry.  I sobbed and sobbed.  Thousands of what ifs rolled through my mind.  In my head this kid was already 13, smoking cigarettes, and getting some girl pregnant or getting pregnant.  And it was all my fault.  I got myself together trying to figure out how I was going to tell Zac.  I was that person you see on TV that talks to themselves in the mirror practicing.  I went and told Zac and he was extremely happy and that made me start sobbing again but it helped knowing he was happy and supportive.

After that day, I was forced to make a doctors appointment and then I started researching if all that pepto bismal would affect the fetus in anyway.

Back Again!

So I know most people don't even blog anymore but I figure in the New Year one of my resolutions will be to kind of back track and try to remember a few things from the pregnancy and also write down what is kind of going on now. 

I'll be back to work full time in January so perhaps I'll use my down time to blog since it isn't blocked at work.

Today is also our Ollie's 3rd month of life outside the womb.  It's pretty crazy we are already at this point. Just over 3 months ago I was wondering what my little guy would be like and ready to evict him and now he's here and growing and it's pretty amazing.  It's also exhausting especially when he starts shrieking because he's hungry, needs to be changed or too tired and fights sleep. 

2013 was interesting.  Zac and I spent January living life like normal.  February was spent getting new jobs or being promoted and finding out we were expecting. March and part of April was spent keeping the pregnancy secret and alot of worrying for me.  May-August was spent getting ready for this kid both mentally and physically and more worrying for me. September was filled with last minute stuff and I was over the worrying and mentally done with this pregnancy...I was ready! 

October was a month of firsts.  It was was pure exhaustion, wonderment, a bit of fear when we had to go back to the hospital for his jaundice, and tiny moments of normalcy here and there.

November through December has been more about the excitement of the holidays with a child.  My mom is pretty darn happy, which is nice.  And Zac's parents are over the moon. 

What else did we do in 2013?

Zac's Spring Break was spent with a visit from Zac's Dad and StepMom.  We went to Bisbee and Phoenix and ate out a few times. 

We saw The Heat, Last Stand and Star Trek in the theater. 

We got new phones.

We spent a weekend at Westward Look Resort.

We had a wild Father's Day weekend trying to get to a cabin on Mt. Lemmon.

Spent a few other days at that cabin on Mt. Lemmon.

So that's that.

Time to wrap this up and eat breakfast before the munchkin starts crying again.

It's time to rant again...

The day after Labor Day makes me lazy.  Well actually every day so far has made me lazy.  I think pregnancy has made me develop a mild form of narcolepsy.  I first thought I was just tired from working on the baby's room because that was when I noticed it more.  But even after working on the baby's room I was still tired all the time.  Falling asleep while checking facebook on my phone for a couple seconds.  Or reading an email at work, I'd find myself nodding off.  Ugh...whatever.

Anyway...point of blog is to complain about other people.  So office pet peeves.  An email is sent to me and it should have gone to another buyer.  No biggie right...I'll just forward to the correct buyer.  I'm done and out of it....right??? Nope...not here.  The buyer that should just take care of it instead emails me back and tells me what to tell the end user.  Um.....really....you couldn't have just sent it the original person?  It infuriates me! The other scenario is that I tell the right buyer "hey look this should go to you". Again I think I'm done. Nope...the new buyer instead CC's me on all correspondence. I don't care anymore.

Also, one of my lovely coworkers likes to ask how you are doing in the morning.  Usually I don't get asked because I sneak into work like a ninja and people never know when I've showed up or not.  But I hear it.

"Hey Stacey...how you doing this morning?"

waits for response....

Literally 10 minutes later....

"Hey Stacey, how are you doing?"

One morning "Stacey" was asked this same question 3 times within a 20 minute time span.

So annoying!

And now I hope I have annoyed you all.

LOOK AT IT!

28 Weeks Later

Isn't 28 Weeks Later a horror movie or something?

Well I'm not exactly in a horror movie at this point in the pregnancy but some parts of my day feel like it.  Like when Princess Preggo Rockstar keeps rubbing her belly fat in front of me.  Today I almost lost it.  I went over to her cubicle to ask her a quick question and I began by asking her how she felt, she's been complaining about a stabbing pain on her right side and went to her doctor yesterday.  She's gone to the ER probably 3 times this pregnancy when something out of the ordinary happens (which to me is everything is out of the ordinary).  Anyway,  when she was telling me she still had some pains but not as bad as yesterday her hand went right to underneath her lower belly and really it looked like she was going for her crotch.  I closed my eyes and for a split second I wanted to scream at her.  I quickly asked my work questions and walked away.  I don't get why she does this in front of me. I honestly haven't seen her do it in front of anyone else unless she's somewhat hidden by a table or something but with me she just doesn't care if it's decent or anything.  Last Friday I was talking to another coworker and Princess Preggo Rockstar walked in to start gossiping.  She decides that is the perfect time to adjust her maternity pants and flips her shirt up to do the adjusting and from my vantage point I got a free show of her boobs/bra and stomach.  Geez Louise!  Do your adjustments in the privacy of the bathroom stall or your own cubicle if you can get away with it.

So over her and her belly rubbing!

Other than going nuts when stuff bugs me it's been ok.  So far my biggest complaint is that my regular carpal tunnel pains seem to have gotten worse.  My hands go numb a lot.  Yes I asked the doctor about it.

Well I suppose I should go back to work.  And listen to my coworkers complain about everything.  The latest drama was that our front receptionist (who is notoriously absent) said she was bit by a spider while at work and was needing to file for workman's comp.  So while this may all be true I'm still skeptical.  But now our offices will get sprayed for bugs at some point next week and I'll be here to smell in the fumes.  Thanks people!  That's ok baby  needs to get used to it anyways.  

My adventure!

Around 1:30 pm yesterday I was fed up with sitting in my cubicle.  Time felt like it just stopped.  So feeling a little lonely and bored I went up to my old desk in the front of the office and I chatted with the assistant and the two clerks.  I probably spent a good hour talking with them when one of the clerks said she really wanted chocolate and was going next door to get some.  Well next door is a smoke shop and I've considered going there to see if they have soda, candy and/or ice cream but since I'm not a smoker I never wanted to go by myself.  So I told the clerk I'd go with her.

We walked past the smokers of our building and they asked us where we were going and we told them to the smoke shop and they asked if we were going for the brownies.  We laughed them off.  They are so silly.

Not even a minute later we are in the smoke shop, the tiny aromatic smoke shop, and to my immediate left is the soda cooler with regular cans and 2 liters.  Next to the soda cooler was the stand with a poor selection of chocolate/candies.  While my coworker paid we found the homemade brownies.  They were tempting but we stuck with our chocolates and left.

My suggestion to the smokeshop-get rid of some of those hookahs and pipes and put in a soda fountain and an ice cream freezer.