Mosca Muerta

I used to be a nice girl.  I was quiet. Spoke only when spoken to. I trusted and respected my elders.  Listened to authority.  Never spoke my mind.

Well over the years that all changed.  I got sick of being the one that never spoke up and didn't voice my opinions.  Other people were always willing to speak their mind no matter how wrong they were.

It seems now I have a reputation.

I'm on a coworker's little shit list this past week.  She's been questioning every decision I make even though she isn't in the same department I am.  I don't know what her deal is but she's making me angry. She's a 60 year old woman and she's playing this passive aggressive game with me which is getting really old really fast.   My boss knows about it and yesterday he witnessed me and her getting into another round of nonsense.  At one point I told her talking to her was like talking to my mother.  Constant nagging and going in circles without her telling me what is the end problem, question or solution.

This same lady called me a mosca muerte...a dead fly.  I told my mom and she laughed.  It's almost like this lady is calling me a cross between a spoiled brat, hypocrite and prima donna, if any of that makes sense. All I know is that I'm right and she's wrong.

The Dreaded Note

Before Ollie T was born we knew we had to line up a good daycare for him.  We started on the search pretty late and checked out about 5 places before we fell in love with the current daycare he is in now.  We had a good recommendation and instantly we felt like we could trust this place with our kid.  The infant room teachers were absolutely wonderful. They went through a few changes but no matter what we felt confident that Ollie was getting the attention he needed.  Before he turned a year the infant room got a good trio of teachers.  They were all young, easygoing and really helpful in guiding us through the rest of Ollie's first year.  We would ask them questions like what and when to feed Ollie, especially when it came to solids, because we were simply at a loss.  He surely couldn't eat Taco Bell and pizza.

Then Ollie turned the Big 1.  He was moved into the toddler room and we had our choice between a Spanish language focused classroom or a Sign Language focused classroom. We asked that he stay with his friends that would all be coming in from the infant room in the next couple months. So with that request Ollie was sent to the sign language room. We were given a sheet about what to expect and what to bring.  Soon after the notes started.

The regular notes came as expected.  More diapers, more wipes, and accident reports were all the notes we were expecting.  Then we got the "other" notes.

-Please put all warm up containers in the bottom drawer of the refrigerator.  (We forgot twice).
-It is not necessary to write how long to microwave the warm up.
-Peel the orange (cutie) beforehand.
-Do not send utensils.
-Please send bibs.
-Please put jackets on top of his designated container.
-Please bring a teething toy.
-Please do not bring two sippy cups.
-Please stop bringing bottles.

These are all the ones that I could think of but I'm sure there were more.

I was ready to start sending notes back and start a passive aggressive war but I was told to let it go.

Ollie really does have a good teacher she is just a stickler on certain things that drives me batty.  But I guess it's good that he has that strict structure at school since we let him do whatever the hell he wants at home. 

I once had time for lots of stuff.

There used to be time for the little things in life. Now there is no time.  It all get consumed by a little boy.

your pain amuses me...

It appears I like to cause a ruckus when I can.  Work seems to be my amusement when I  can call people out on their stupidity...which is almost all the time at my current job.

This past February we hired a new girl and she has proven to be a good ally in the fight to amuse ourselves.  She likes to pull  practical jokes and she tends to pick on two of the three guys that works in our office.  So far her jokes have been wrapping their stuff in saran wrap but this past Friday she moved three empty filing cabinets over so that this one guy can't get into his cubicle as easily. 

The only thing that will suck about this joke is that the guy comes in first before anyone else so no one will be around to see his reaction. 

being sympathetic....

One of the things I feel I lack being a new mom is the "typical mom feelings".  I don't know how else to name it or describe it. It comes up when someone says

"Did you cry when he got his first shots?"

No, I didn't.  But I was glad I got to hold him afterwards to comfort him.

"How did you handle going back to work and leaving him?" (This was when I was working part-time and Zac and I were trading off)

Um-actually it was nice to have 4 hours of doing something else and keeping my mind busy with catching up with work.  Sure I looked at lil Ollie's picture a ton but it was nice eating when I wanted to eat without any interruptions.

"Did you cry when you put him in daycare?"

No, well for a second on the way to daycare I may have gotten a little choked up with the feels...but I was excited for him to go to daycare.  I know his days of having little friends are coming within the next few years but I loved seeing him in a room with a few other babies.

"How can  you even think about putting him in daycare?"

I thought about it alot and I have never had any issues about putting him in daycare. There was one day where I told myself I could be a stay at home mom...and then I laughed at the idea and went on with my day. People say daycares are germ factories. Well so am I.  The two times Ollie has had a little congestion is when I've been sick.  He goes to daycare everyday but he caught his sicknesses from me.  Schools are germ factories, stores are germ factories, families are germ factories, dogs are germ factories and so is everything else in life. Get over it.

"Won't you miss him?"

Of course I'll miss him.  I'll miss him more than he misses me. But I want him to get used to the hustle and bustle of a daycare and seeing new people and being ok with new people.  I'll still see him and I'll love him just as much throughout the day, that won't ever change.

So when I get these typical questions I try very hard not to roll my eyes and I give the short answer of yes or no. I think I've tried a couple of times where I tried to explain it but I get blank stares like they don't understand or they can't comprehend it.  I know it's normal to get overemotional about your kids during these big times and I'm not saying it's dumb if you do, but since I didn't have those feelings and I hear someone else saying how they have anxieties about going back to work and leaving their kid at daycare all I can think is...

Suck it up buttercup

But I can't actually tell that person that.  No...I have to be all nice and polite and sympathetic. ARGH!!!!!

Yes, this is directed at one person, that thankfully will never read my blog. Before we were both pregnant it was 6 years of her trying to conceive, and letting everyone know of her ups and downs. While we were both pregnant at the same time she had every symptom. She was well known at the hospital before she even had the kid.  The delivery was another whole episode and the recovery was 8 weeks of the worse thing she has ever been through and now that it is time to go back to work it's time for the anxiety. There seems to be a trend and I have to sit next to it while I work or hear about it through email.

In the beginning...

I think I've used this same title a few times already but whatevs.

So going back in time to February of 2013, things were simple back then.  Life was normal except for that pesky stomach ache that wasn't going away.  A week of stomach aches and nothing was making it go away. I mean I tried everything...pepto bismal, alka seltzer, immodium, and who knows what else.  At one point I thinking...nah...can't be possible...but decided to check anyway.  I had a pregnancy test lying around..who knows how old it was.  Nope not positive.  Another week passed and Aunt Flo hadn't made her visit and that pesky stomach ache was not going away.  At this point I was pretty sure I was dying of a hernia or that my insides were being chewed through by some water born parasite. There was no hope for me.   I was almost at the point of needing to make a doctor's appointment, which meant finding a doctor first.  February 17th rolled around and with a new supply of pregnancy tests I decided to take another one.  And then another one....and then another one. 

I stared down at that pee stick and thought "What??" My next reaction.  Take a shower and cry.  I sobbed and sobbed.  Thousands of what ifs rolled through my mind.  In my head this kid was already 13, smoking cigarettes, and getting some girl pregnant or getting pregnant.  And it was all my fault.  I got myself together trying to figure out how I was going to tell Zac.  I was that person you see on TV that talks to themselves in the mirror practicing.  I went and told Zac and he was extremely happy and that made me start sobbing again but it helped knowing he was happy and supportive.

After that day, I was forced to make a doctors appointment and then I started researching if all that pepto bismal would affect the fetus in anyway.

Back Again!

So I know most people don't even blog anymore but I figure in the New Year one of my resolutions will be to kind of back track and try to remember a few things from the pregnancy and also write down what is kind of going on now. 

I'll be back to work full time in January so perhaps I'll use my down time to blog since it isn't blocked at work.

Today is also our Ollie's 3rd month of life outside the womb.  It's pretty crazy we are already at this point. Just over 3 months ago I was wondering what my little guy would be like and ready to evict him and now he's here and growing and it's pretty amazing.  It's also exhausting especially when he starts shrieking because he's hungry, needs to be changed or too tired and fights sleep. 

2013 was interesting.  Zac and I spent January living life like normal.  February was spent getting new jobs or being promoted and finding out we were expecting. March and part of April was spent keeping the pregnancy secret and alot of worrying for me.  May-August was spent getting ready for this kid both mentally and physically and more worrying for me. September was filled with last minute stuff and I was over the worrying and mentally done with this pregnancy...I was ready! 

October was a month of firsts.  It was was pure exhaustion, wonderment, a bit of fear when we had to go back to the hospital for his jaundice, and tiny moments of normalcy here and there.

November through December has been more about the excitement of the holidays with a child.  My mom is pretty darn happy, which is nice.  And Zac's parents are over the moon. 

What else did we do in 2013?

Zac's Spring Break was spent with a visit from Zac's Dad and StepMom.  We went to Bisbee and Phoenix and ate out a few times. 

We saw The Heat, Last Stand and Star Trek in the theater. 

We got new phones.

We spent a weekend at Westward Look Resort.

We had a wild Father's Day weekend trying to get to a cabin on Mt. Lemmon.

Spent a few other days at that cabin on Mt. Lemmon.

So that's that.

Time to wrap this up and eat breakfast before the munchkin starts crying again.