it's called life

I've been fighting with myself on how to write this blog. I figure no one really reads this so I should just write whatever the hell I want.

Just like other people I'm addicted to Facebook. I like following along with updates and finding out what people are doing, or going, or thinking about. Sometimes I'm overly annoyed and want to write out long winded responses to some posts and updates. Sometimes I want to tell people to shut up and get over it. Sometimes I cry when I read certain posts. Sometimes I see pictures that are so uplifting that I am amazed at how wonderful life can be.

More and more I'm annoyed by God. I'm annoyed that people seem to think that God controls their lives. I have to respect other peoples beliefs in God/religion if I expect others to respect my beliefs. I feel conflicted when I read "God is Good" when things are joyous and wonderful and then when life takes a shit I read "Why is God being so cruel to me?" I understand that feeling when nothing seems to go right. When every little thing you do seems to be wrong. But it's called life. Life gives and life takes away. There isn't any certainty to anything and no one is owed anything. You are in charge of your body, mind and soul and you are the person that decides how much you need God to be in your life. If you are asking yourself why God is so cruel to you then perhaps you don't understand what faith is or you don't understand what exactly you believe in. Losing someone or something can really test these feelings and beliefs. I had one friend that recently lost her father to diabetes. On her facebook she simply wrote that she will miss her father and will one day see him again in heaven. She is quite religious and she has not asked God why her father was taken away nor has she blamed God, on facebook at least. I have another friend that buried her twin daughters today. The girls were only a week old and were delivered 4 months early. Through the whole process my friend and her husband kept everyone updated on facebook since they currently live in Georgia and are far away from family here in Tucson. A few posts asked for God to help the girls fight for life and when they died they simply thanked God for having the chance to meet their girls. Not once did they ask why God did this to them. Not once did they post why God was so cruel to them.

I guess this is so hard to write because who am I to tell you what to write on your facebook, blog or tweet. But when everyday it's "Today is hard, why is God doing this to me?" or something along those lines it just irks me. Is it a pity party you are after? Does it make you feel better to see 10 responses of people saying "God has a plan for you"? Are you seriously looking for an answer? Will you find your answer on facebook?

I don't know.