just sayin

want portland trip to happen now! need my voodoo doughnut!

zac wants the cock-n-balls donut. i think i'll stay safe with the dirt donut or triple chocolate penetration donut.

they say it's your birthday!

Today is Danielle's birthday!

So here is to a wonderful person and friend! Even though she is far far away in the snowy cold lands we still manage to talk to each other just about every single day.

I wish her the best birthday ever and an awesome year!

awesomeness and more

I don't think I could get this picture any bigger.

Darn it!!!

I saw this today while looking through a bible(a term we use at work). And I couldn't stop staring! The shirt in the middle says Proud to be Adorable and American!

It's awesome!

I tried to tell Danielle about it since her birthday is tomorrow but she said she'd kill me if I ever got her this shirt.

Whatever....

resolution-take more pictures

Sabino Canyon-1-3-2010

How did I do last year?

1. Get married. Check-got married February 7, 2009

2. Change everything so I can assume my new identity as Teresa Chapman.....weird!Half check-have a new social security card and changed my name at work for payroll and insurance but nothing else was changed.

3. Go on a honeymoon. Check-went to Disneyland and Las Vegas

4. Visit Mom's Chapman in Portland. No Check-but maybe next month?!

5. Use our passports somehow. No Check

6. Spend more time with nephews and niece!Half Check-I think I saw half of my nephews a bit more. Just need to work on the other 2.

7. Make higher payments on student loan. No Check-Paid the same amount.

8. Pay off debt accumulated from buying appliances and wedding stuff. No check-went down a bit but not how I wanted to see it.

9. Do a big project on the house...like paint, connect the studio to the rest of the house...something. No check. We did nothing.

10. Save more money. No check. Never enough money.

11. Dryer-Check

ho ho ho and a bottle of rum

Santa says that right?

This year was kind of a downer Christmas. Every year I really look forward to Christmas and every year it seems to lose its magic more and more. I love seeing the lights and decorations and wish I could buy every single decoration I see. It's really the same as Halloween. I want my place to be the crazy people house that go nuts on decorations. I think kids really make the holiday super special and I look forward to spending time with my niece and nephews. This year only one brother came over to my parents house and so Christmas was long and drawn out. Of course once the kids were there it was fun and the time went by too fast.

Next year there was discussion of going to Vegas. I'm up for that.

I guess one year I'd like to have the Christmas that other people write about or maybe I'm thinking of the Christmas I see in the movies....I'm not quite sure because my mind is so warped with stupid stuff. I'd love to once go to Winterhaven sipping hot chocolate and maybe take the hayride around. Once I'd like to go to the Holiday Parade and feel like a little kid when Santa comes around. For once I'd like to have holiday yummies, while watching nonstop Christmas movies and listening to Christmas music. Maybe this is all better with kids. Maybe it's time to adopt a little Asian kid. It's the same with every holiday. At Halloween I want to go crazy on decorations, I want to dress up, I want to go to the pumpkin patch and go through the corn maze. At Easter I want to color eggs and hide them and have an easter egg hunt. On President's Day I want to dress up as George Washington and read the constitution. (Maybe not the last one.)

I was thinking about stuff I used to hate getting as gifts but now wish I would get. Stuff like the following:

-Socks, I hate buying socks for myself. Mainly, I'd love winter socks or slipper socks that warm my feet during the winter. I'd also like fun colored/print socks. I can't seem to buy those for myself either. As I'm writing this I have 3 pairs of socks on and my feet are still cold.

-Slippers. I actually use slippers now. I'd like slippers for all occasions.

-Cheap jewelry. I used to get cheap jewelry all the time. My Dad would buy me some crazy earrings or a cutesy necklace and sometimes my aunt would give me Avon jewelry. Cheap jewelry is actually a lot cooler now. I still like to play dress up.

-Puzzles. I don't think I ever counted puzzles to be my favorite gift but I find that I like them more and more. There are even cool puzzles that are 3D. I've also always wanted a separate card table to do the puzzles on. Buying used puzzles at the bookstore or second hand store seems like a good idea but I've found these puzzles also seem to come with a lot of cat hair. Achoo!

-Clothes. My mom stopped buying me clothes in junior high. Sometimes I'd like simple sweatshirts or scarves or jackets. Gift cards work well too.

-Accessories. I like shoes and purses. I'm an 8 1/2. I also like perfume.

-Random stuff. I think some of the gifts that I remember the most were random things that I wasn't quite expecting. Once my dad bought me a ladies tool set. Which I still have. Oh and that snuggie was the best.

Maybe next year I'll learn and I'll do something like volunteer somewhere or donate to charity. Maybe next year everyone will get home made gifts....damn I better start them now if I expect anything to get done by next year.

it's called life

I've been fighting with myself on how to write this blog. I figure no one really reads this so I should just write whatever the hell I want.

Just like other people I'm addicted to Facebook. I like following along with updates and finding out what people are doing, or going, or thinking about. Sometimes I'm overly annoyed and want to write out long winded responses to some posts and updates. Sometimes I want to tell people to shut up and get over it. Sometimes I cry when I read certain posts. Sometimes I see pictures that are so uplifting that I am amazed at how wonderful life can be.

More and more I'm annoyed by God. I'm annoyed that people seem to think that God controls their lives. I have to respect other peoples beliefs in God/religion if I expect others to respect my beliefs. I feel conflicted when I read "God is Good" when things are joyous and wonderful and then when life takes a shit I read "Why is God being so cruel to me?" I understand that feeling when nothing seems to go right. When every little thing you do seems to be wrong. But it's called life. Life gives and life takes away. There isn't any certainty to anything and no one is owed anything. You are in charge of your body, mind and soul and you are the person that decides how much you need God to be in your life. If you are asking yourself why God is so cruel to you then perhaps you don't understand what faith is or you don't understand what exactly you believe in. Losing someone or something can really test these feelings and beliefs. I had one friend that recently lost her father to diabetes. On her facebook she simply wrote that she will miss her father and will one day see him again in heaven. She is quite religious and she has not asked God why her father was taken away nor has she blamed God, on facebook at least. I have another friend that buried her twin daughters today. The girls were only a week old and were delivered 4 months early. Through the whole process my friend and her husband kept everyone updated on facebook since they currently live in Georgia and are far away from family here in Tucson. A few posts asked for God to help the girls fight for life and when they died they simply thanked God for having the chance to meet their girls. Not once did they ask why God did this to them. Not once did they post why God was so cruel to them.

I guess this is so hard to write because who am I to tell you what to write on your facebook, blog or tweet. But when everyday it's "Today is hard, why is God doing this to me?" or something along those lines it just irks me. Is it a pity party you are after? Does it make you feel better to see 10 responses of people saying "God has a plan for you"? Are you seriously looking for an answer? Will you find your answer on facebook?

I don't know.