what do you say when "I'm sorry for your loss" isn't enough?

Yesterday while perusing through myspace profiles I found one past co-worker with a new picture and the caption said "in memory of..." the picture was of another past co-worker's boyfriend. After various searches I found the article from the 22nd and it stated that the 22 year old was in a car accident. It appeared that he turned left for some reason and hit the raised median and a 3 foot wall that is next to a pedestrian crosswalk. He died 2 hours later in the hospital.

I was in shock. I didn't know him very well but I knew of him because his girlfriend was the very girl that helped Zac and I in the beginning of our relationship. She was the only one at work that knew and so when we were questioning what was going on and how to act she was the one we talked to. I had countless conversations with her. Most of her stories and advice were about her and her boyfriend. Their adventures in dating, his family, her family as well as the problems. Even though they weren't married or engaged they were living together and had two dogs together. They were well on their way to a life together.

I feel so sad for her. I can't imagine how it feels to get the phone call telling you that the man you love most in the world is dead. I don't know how it would feel to think of the last time you spoke to that person and maybe you said "I'll see you later". If it breaks my heart to even think of it now how does it feel when it actually happens.

All last night I just kept picturing my friend's smiling face which is the picture that is used on her myspace page. I kept thinking of her pictures with her and her boyfriend together smiling on their vacations together. I kept thinking of his myspace page, going on like nothing happened.

I guess this is the reality of life. You never know what is going to happen and when your life will be taken away. Zac and I talked about death. Before death scared me because I thought of the pain of dying. But I now realize that if you are feeling pain you are probably welcoming death. I think now I realize it's harder to keep on living when someone so close to you is gone. Even though I knew this before, it didn't really sink in.

I hope my friend will find the strength to make it through this. She will always have him in her heart and he will always be with her. May he rest in peace.

surprise surprise

We dids it! In front of family and friends, Zac bravely popped the question.

And I said yes.

Everyone rejoiced and there was much happiness.

And the boys wanted cake.

Daisy wanted to terrorize someone.

I got a pretty shiny ring.

I am not pregnant.

jan call grandpa

Before leaving work I checked my phone and I saw that I had two voicemails. Intrigued since I never get phone calls during the day I checked quickly and this is what I heard.

voicemail 1:
"Jan call Grandpa at 661-blah blah blah"

voicemail 2:

"Jan call Grandpa, I'm worried about you, I have left you three messages and you haven't called me back. Please call me back."

I was almost ready to call Grandpa back and tell him that he had the wrong phone number but then I realized the phone calls were made at 10 am and if this horrible granddaughter didn't call back by now I think I would have another voicemail.

Poor Grandpa.

sample sale

Friday we had a sample sale at work. The last two sample sales were kind of a bust. Most items were clothes and samples that have been sitting in the warehouse for eternity. Don't get me wrong, I still bought a little something here and there at each sale. Yesterdays sale was awesome. They had a bunch of shoes and luckily I found a few 8's, most of the shoes were size 6 or 10. So once you found a size close enough you just grabbed them. The best part is that everything pictured was a dollar each! At the lowest these shoes retail at $39.99 probably. I also managed to snag a winter coat for a $3-5 (yeah I'll probably only wear it once but still), a necklace, and a hoodie sweater. My total came out $13! Awesome! Yeah these are samples and so who knows how long these things will last but come on....a dollar!

aborigine daisy

I came home today and let Daisy out of her crate. I opened the back door to let her do her business and I started talking on the phone. Once I got off the phone I tried to call Daisy back inside so she could eat her dindin and when I looked at her face it was just covered with the dirt she was rolling in. It reminded me of the aboriginal men that paint their faces with white paint. I was going to post a picture but I already felt too racist.

i don't know why zac is so happy about puking all over pima west campus

So if you've read Zac's post then you know what we've been dealing with all day. I don't think I've ever had food poisoning before but I don't ever want it again. It was horrible and I'm barely feeling better now. I just had some chicken soup and I was able to eat most of it. Now I'm trying to move around a bit.

la la land

I'm watching Law and Order and Daisy is sleeping on the couch next to me. Her little paws are moving like she's walking in her sleep. She is also snoring a little bit. It's the best when she makes little gurgly noises and her lip flaps. Is this her version of sleep talking or dreaming?

I wonder what dogs dream about. I would assume Hudsy dreams about a giant tomato or some kind of food. What makes Daisy happy? Is it a giant treat? A giant bed?

Oh Daisy!